Successful dating: Define what YOU want
Many times people enter the interracial dating scene full of excitement and then get disappointed when they do not find what they want. White women looking for black men or black men who want to date white women need to be clear about what they are looking for, in order to increase their chances of finding the ideal match. Sometimes why know what we do not want from a relationship, but have no clue about what is it that we expect from the other person and how we want our future to look like. The following questions will hopefully help you figure out what it is that you are looking for in a relationship. This way, it will be easier to for you do figure out if a person is right for you or not.
Are you ready for commitment?
This is a very important question. Yes, you might be ready for dating and you might be longing for the excitement of flirting and getting to know a new person. But are you ready to commit? If you want to date black men just to get out of your comfort zone, but are not ready for something serious, be clear about it. Serious interracial online dating sites have many members whoa re looking for love. The fact that you are not there yet does not make them pushy.
Do you get along best with introverts or extroverts?
Some introverts like being around other introverts. Some other introverts, on the other hand, prefer being in the lively company of extroverts. In which category do you belong? And if you are an extrovert, would you say that you usually find introverts boring or mysterious and fascinating? Knowing your types and having a general idea about the type of people that you get along with can help you justify why you are attracted to a particular person or not.
How much time do you need for your self?
So you have just met this wonderful girl who is so cheerful and talkative and enthusiastic and she loves life and is passionate about so many things, including you! Careful there. Often people who are more quiet and reserved find themselves attracted to such personalities. But could you sustain a relationship with such a girl (or boy) in the long run? If you belong to the category of people who need quite some alone time in order to recharge, it might be wiser to date people who can offer you that. Look for independent personalities who won't sulk in the corner just because you asked for two hours to read your book or go for a walk alone.
How important is financial security to you?
When you start to date black men or white women, the excitement and the novelty might make it difficult for you to think rationally. But as wonderful as falling in love is, once the feeling subsides, you will start seeing issues that you didn't notice before. Financial problems are the number one reason for divorces. And many brakes ups happen in less official relationships for this reason as well. So if you feel that you cannot stand financial insecurity, make sure that your date shares your attitude towards money. If you are a saver and he is a spender or the other way round, you will need to work hard to find a balance. It can be done, but it needs effort from both sides. If you are clear from the start regarding your money attitude, you can avoid future misunderstanding.
Is a good sense of humor important to you?
It's the number one advice on every dating website out there: “Make her laugh and she will love you!”. And it is true. For many people having a partner they can have fun with is very important. But sometimes, when a new date fulfills all our other criteria, we tend to forget how important laughter is. If you meet someone who is rich, handsome, loyal, hardworking and loves kids, you might think that he is quite a catch. But if a good sense of humor is important to you and he doesn't make you laugh, you might get bored sooner than you think. Not all people have a good sense of humor high in their priority list, but if you do, stick with it. If it is important to you, then it IS important.
Do you get bored easily?
If you date black men because you think that your life will be full of adventure, think again. Some black men are adventurous. Other are not. Much like white men. So if you are the type of woman that gets bored easily and you love surprises, travel, changes in general, make sure to look for a man with similar interests and approach to life. You will get bored of even the sweetest guy out there after a while, if he cannot excite you. The same goes for men as well. If you love changes look for a women who doesn't mind change as well and will keep you interested in her for a long time.
Do you want kids? How soon?
Some people know they want to be parents since they were five years old. Some others feel that don't want to contribute to the Earth's overpopulation problem. And there are those who want a family eventually, just not yet. Try and figure out in which category you belong and then be honest about it with the people you want to date, even though you suspect this can lead to losing a date opportunity. It will save you a lot of drama in the long run!
As you can see from these questions, the goal is to do some soul-searching before inviting new people into your life. If everyone did it, and if we were all honest about what we want in life, without being afraid of judgment, there would be far less divorces and breakups. So be honest and make the (dating) world a better place!